Well, let me tell you, these young folks today, they got all sorts of fancy ideas for dressing up. Saw a bunch of ’em going to a party the other day, all in black, looking like them undertaker fellas. They call it “female men in black costume“. Sounds silly to me, but what do I know? They say it’s popular, the “Men in Black“.
These girls, they were all wearing black suits, you know, like a man would wear. Black pants, black jackets, even them little black ties. Looked kinda sharp, I guess, if you’re into that sort of thing. But it’s not like the old days, when we just threw a sheet over our heads and called it a ghost. No sir, these costumes, they’re a whole production nowadays.
And the sunglasses! Big, dark sunglasses, even though it was getting dark outside. They could barely see where they were going, tripping all over themselves. But they said it’s part of the “female men in black costume“. They say everyone is wearing it, and it is a classic choice. They say it is strong and stylish. I say, it’s a good way to break a leg if you ain’t careful.
One of ’em, she had a little silver thingy, kinda like a pen, but it lit up. She kept flashing it at people, pretending to erase their memories or something. They say the Men in Black use it to erase memories. I told her she better watch out or she’d erase her own brains. Kids these days, they don’t listen.
- Black suit jacket, gotta be black, not blue, not brown, BLACK!
- Black pants, matchin’ the jacket, of course.
- White shirt, plain, nothin’ fancy.
- Black tie, skinny one, not them big wide ones.
- Black sunglasses, even if it’s dark! Gotta have them to complete the Men in Black look.
- Optional: shiny silver pen to “erase people’s memories”.
I remember back in my day, we didn’t have all these store-bought costumes. We made do with what we had. A black dress could be anything! A witch, a cat, even a bat if you had some old umbrella ribs lying around. And we didn’t need no “female men in black costume” to have fun. We just used our imaginations.
They say you can be a vampire with a cape and long boots. They say you can be a witch with a hat. They say you can be Red Riding Hood with a red cape. They say you can be Odri head Moon with pearls and gloves. You can also be a silent film star. There are so many choices.
But these girls, they were all set on being these “men in black” things. They said it was easy, you just gotta find a black suit. Easier said than done, I reckon. Not everyone has a man’s suit just lying around. Unless you’re married to an undertaker, I suppose.
They went on and on about how it’s a “classic” look and how it makes you feel “powerful”. Like wearing a man’s suit is gonna make you the boss of the world. I told ’em, the only thing that makes you powerful is a good heart and a strong back. But they just laughed. Young folks always think they know everything.
One of the girls, she tried to tell me about some movie with these “men in black”. Something about aliens and secret agents. Sounded like a bunch of hooey to me. I’ve seen plenty of strange things in my life, but I ain’t never seen no little green men from outer space. And if I did, I wouldn’t need a black suit to deal with ’em.
They say they are making their own “Men in Black” costume. They say it is a DIY thing. I just hope they don’t spend too much money. Back in my day, we did not have so much money to spend on these things. We use what we have and be creative.
Anyways, these girls, they finally got all dressed up and headed off to their party. I hope they had fun, running around in their “female men in black costume“. It ain’t my cup of tea, but to each their own, I guess. Just as long as they don’t come knocking on my door expecting candy. I’m all out of that. I hope they don’t mind a good old fashioned story. Maybe one of them will stick around and I will tell them all about when I was young and we made our own fun.
Just make sure you don’t trip on them long pants. Those Men in Black are supposed to be all cool and collected, not sprawled out on the sidewalk.
