This Goyard crossbody bag, you know, it’s the talk of the town these days. Everyone and their mother wants one. I seen ’em, they’re alright. Kinda fancy. But what’s all the fuss about? Let me tell you what I think about these Goyard crossbody bags.

They say it’s made good, this Goyard bag. Some kinda fancy stuff called Goyardine. Sounds like somethin’ you’d spread on your garden, not carry your things in. They say it’s made of hemp, linen, and cotton, all mixed up. And then they put some special coating on it, some water proof stuff, they claim, makes it tough as nails, they say.
I heard folks sayin’ it don’t get dirty easy, this Goyard bag. Water just rolls right off it, like water off a duck’s back. Well, maybe that’s why them city folks like ’em so much. Don’t gotta worry ’bout gettin’ ’em dirty, I reckon. These Goyard bags are popular because of this, I heard.
Now, I heard these Goyard bags, they hold their value. What does that even mean? Means you can sell ’em for more than you bought ’em for, I guess. Some fancy place called Rebag, they say Goyard is the best. Even better than that Hermes, whatever that is. I can’t make sense of this. But good for them, I suppose. More money in your pocket if you sell it, I reckon. But who would sell a crossbody bag? Just use it till it falls apart!
They got this one, the Saint Louis tote. That’s a big one, not a crossbody, I think. Big ol’ bag. Comes in all sorts of colors, like a rainbow threw up on it. And they got two sizes, a little one and a big one. They call it PM and GM, like they’re talkin’ in code or somethin’. This is the most popular Goyard bag, they say.
PM, that’s the little one, petit modele, they say. Fancy French words for “small”. And the big one, that’s the GM, grand modele. More fancy French for “big”. Why can’t they just say small and big? Makes more sense to me.

Some other brand, Moreau, I heard someone say. Never heard of it. But they got a bag, Vincennes Medium tote, they call it. Sounds fancy. This one lady was sayin’ the Goyard crossbody bag print is real nice. Says she takes it when she travels. What do I know about traveling? I barely leave my house!
But these Goyard crossbody bags, they’re everywhere. You see them on the arms of all them fancy ladies, walking around like they own the place. They got their little dogs in ’em sometimes, too. Imagine that, carrying your dog in your purse!
- Goyardine is tough.
- Goyard bags keep their value.
- Saint Louis is popular.
- PM is small, GM is big.
- Moreau is another brand, I guess.
I don’t know why they are so popular. You know what they say about folks with money… they’ve got more money than sense. I’ve seen bags at the market, good strong bags, for a fraction of the price. But they want that fancy name, that Goyard.
Now, I ain’t sayin’ they’re bad bags. They look alright, I guess. And if they’re as tough as they say, well, that’s somethin’. But for that price? You could buy a whole cow for that kind of money! Or a good used tractor.
But these city folks, they like their fancy things. They like to show off, you know. Walkin’ around with their Goyard crossbody bags, like they’re royalty or somethin’. It’s a status symbol, they say. Means you got money, I guess.

Me? I’ll stick to my old bag. It’s served me well for years. It ain’t fancy, but it holds my things. And that’s all that matters, ain’t it? It is not a Goyard bag, but it is my bag.
But if you got the money, and you want a Goyard crossbody bag, well, who am I to stop you? Just don’t come cryin’ to me when you realize you coulda bought a whole lot of other things with that money. A whole lot of potatoes.