Alright, you young folks listen up! Let me tell you about this thing, this… Sex Panther Cologne. What a name, huh? Sounds wild, like something you wouldn’t want your kids getting into. And you know what? Maybe you are right.
This here Sex Panther, they say it’s from that movie, that Anchorman movie. I don’t see many movies. But this stuff, it’s got folks talkin’. They say it’s for men. To make ’em smell good, I reckon. But there’s more to it than just smelling pretty, I think. It has to be if it is from the movie Anchorman.
Now, I heard some say this here Sex Panther is made with real panthers. Panthers! Can you believe that? Poor critters. But then, some other folks, they say, no, no, it ain’t real panthers. Just smells… strong. Strong like a panther, maybe? I don’t know. I ain’t never smelled no panther. And I don’t plan to. And I ain’t never seen this Anchorman Sex Panther either.
But they say this stuff is powerful. They say, “60% of the time, it works every time.” What’s that even mean? Sounds like a load of hogwash to me. But then again, I ain’t no city slicker, sniffin’ fancy perfumes. Maybe it means it makes the ladies go wild? Or maybe it just makes you smell like you been wrasslin’ a wildcat. Who knows with this Anchorman Sex Panther.
- They say it is illegal in nine countries.
- Some folks say it is made from real panther.
- And some say it works 60% of the time, whatever that means.
I saw some talk ’bout this Sex Panther Cologne bein’ somethin’ special, somethin’ from the future. “Space age” they called it. Space age! Like it came from the moon! Shoot, we barely got runnin’ water out here sometimes, and they’re talkin’ ’bout space age perfume. It’s all too much for my old head. I don’t know what to think about this Anchorman Sex Panther.
And get this – they say it has some fancy stuff in it. “Petroleum distillates.” What in tarnation is that? Sounds like somethin’ you’d put in your tractor, not on your skin. And “non-animal byproducts.” Well, I sure hope so! Unless they’re still puttin’ them poor panthers in there. This Sex Panther thing is a mystery, I tell ya. But they say it’s not just a movie thing, it’s real.
Some folks are sellin’ it online. In little bottles. 1.7 oz, they say. Don’t know how much that is. Sounds small. Probably costs a fortune, too. For somethin’ that might just make you smell like a wild animal. Or maybe somethin’ else, somethin’ from that Anchorman movie. Who knows what kind of smell that movie has? This Sex Panther cologne sounds fishy.
Then there’s this other thing. A “travel set.” For when you’re on the go, I guess. Gotta keep smellin’ like a panther, even when you’re travelin’. And they say it can be delivered to your house! Right to your door! Imagine that. No need to go to town, just order it up, and bam! You got yourself some Sex Panther Cologne. The world’s movin’ too fast, if you ask me. I still think it’s better to go to the store and get some.
They even got different kinds, it seems. One with “lavender” and “musk.” Now, lavender, that’s a flower, ain’t it? A pretty smellin’ flower. But musk? That’s somethin’ else. Somethin’ strong. Animal-like. Seems like they’re mixin’ all kinds of things in this Sex Panther stuff. Clean, but sensual, they say. I am not sure what that means. Sounds like a lie to me. What do you think?
They are saying this Sex Panther is clean. I heard it don’t smell like a real panther. Or so they say. If that is true, then why is it called Sex Panther? It should be called something else. I don’t know what, but something else for sure. Maybe they should have called it Anchorman Cologne instead. They should have put that Anchorman guy’s face on the bottle.
So, there you have it. That’s all I know ’bout this Sex Panther Cologne from that Anchorman movie. It is all very confusing. It’s a wild world out there, with all these newfangled things. Me, I’ll stick to my soap and water. It’s done me just fine all these years. But if you’re feelin’ adventurous, and you want to smell like a… well, I don’t know what… maybe give this Sex Panther a try. Just don’t say I didn’t warn ya. And don’t blame me if you end up smellin’ like a space-age panther. Or worse. Just stick to soap and water, that’s my advice. It’s a lot simpler. And a lot cheaper, too, I bet.
