You know what? Gotta say, this chair Pokemon, it’s a real head-scratcher. See, back in my day, we just had plain ol’ chairs. Wood, mostly. Sturdy things. Now, these young’uns and their fancy games… They got chairs that are also, well, Pokemon, I reckon. What is a Pokemon? It’s like a, a critter. Yeah, a critter that you catch and… battle with? I don’t know.
Heard little Timmy down the street talkin’ ’bout it. He’s got one of them Pokemon Sword and Shield games. Says it’s the best thing since sliced bread. Keeps goin’ on about his “team.” Says he needs a good team for his chair Pokemon. Team for a chair? Well, I’ll be… In my time, the only team a chair needed was a good, strong floor.
Timmy, he’s always goin’ on about “moves” and “builds.” Says his chair Pokemon needs the right “moveset.” Sounds like a lot of hooey to me. A chair’s a chair. You sit in it. End of story. But these kids, they gotta complicate everything. He told me he’s always playin’ these games on that thingamajig, a, a… “switch”?
- Strongest chair Pokemon
- Good moves for chair
- Best team for Sword and Shield game
Then there’s somethin’ called “EV spreads” and “held items.” Like this chair Pokemon needs to hold somethin’? What’s it gonna hold? A teacup? Back in my day, the only thing a chair held was your backside. And maybe a cushion, if you were lucky.
And “natures”! Don’t even get me started on “natures.” This chair Pokemon, it’s got a personality, I guess. Like it’s gonna be grumpy one day and happy the next. Maybe it’ll refuse to let you sit on it if it’s in a bad mood. Who knows! These newfangled things, they’re beyond me.
Timmy’s always talkin’ about these other Pokemon too. One’s called a, uh, “Murkrow.” Sounds like a crow that’s been through the mud. He says it’s got somethin’ called “Tailwind” and “Foul Play.” Sounds like a troublemaker to me. Like one of those birds that steals your shiny things. My old man used to chase ’em off with a broom. I think there’s another called “Marriland.” Sounds like a place.
And get this, there’s a chair Pokemon team builder. You use it to build a team for your chair. A team! For a chair! I swear, these kids today… They got too much time on their hands. Back in my day, we were too busy workin’ to worry about buildin’ teams for our furniture. I don’t understand these “rental codes” either. What’s there to rent? Is it like renting a mule?
Heard somethin’ about “Hail” and “Sandstorm” too. Like the weather’s got somethin’ to do with these chair Pokemon. Maybe they change color depending on the weather. Or maybe they only come out when it’s rainin’. I don’t know. It’s all too complicated for an old gal like me.
Timmy says you gotta take an “elevator to the roof” for somethin’. Elevator? Roof? What’s a chair Pokemon doin’ on the roof? Is it gonna fly away? Maybe it’s one of them flyin’ chairs I’ve heard tell of. Like a magic carpet, but a chair. Lordy, the things they come up with these days.
These Pokemon, they battle, see? They say that you need a “skilled opponent” to battle. They’re like, uh, fightin’ roosters, but they’re, you know, all sorts of things. A chair Pokemon, a muddy crow, you name it. And apparently you gotta have the “strongest” ones. They even have “guides” to tell you how to use each of these Pokemon. It’s all so complicated. They “share” their teams too, like how we used to share preserves. But it’s all on this “thread” thing. I reckon it’s like a, a clothesline where you hang your laundry, but for these Pokemon teams.
This whole chair Pokemon thing, it’s just a lot of fuss if you ask me. But, you know, kids will be kids. They like their games and their gadgets. Me? I’ll stick to my old wooden chair. It may not be a Pokemon, but it’s never let me down. And it don’t need no “team” or “moveset” or any of that nonsense. Just a good, sturdy seat. That’s all a body really needs. This all happened a while back, like, around January 17, 2021.
