Yo, you young’uns and your fancy shoes! Back in my day, we wore what we had, and we were darn glad to have it! But these Yeezy 350 Slate, I hear they’re all the rage now. What in tarnation is a Yeezy anyway? Sounds like a sneeze!

These shoes, they come in a box, I seen it. Plain ol’ box, nothin’ special. But they say it’s important, this box. Keeps ’em safe, I reckon. Like keepin’ your prized pig safe from the fox! Gotta check that box, they say. Make sure it ain’t some flimsy thing. This Yeezy 350 Slate box, it’s gotta be sturdy, like a good oak tree.
- Gotta be real, that box.
- Not some fake box.
- Just like the shoes, these Yeezy 350 Slate.
Now, I seen some of these shoes, these Yeezy things, and some of ’em, they ain’t right. Like a cow with three legs, somethin’ just off. They say the real ones, they’re made in China. China! Can you believe it? Everything’s made in China these days. Used to be, things was made right here! But these Yeezy 350 Slate, they’re from China. If they ain’t, somethin’s fishy, like a week-old trout!
They got this fancy name, Slate. Sounds like somethin’ you’d find down by the creek. Smooth, gray rock. I guess these shoes, they’re kinda gray, like that slate rock. Not my style, mind you. I like a good, bright color, like a sunflower! But these young folks, they like these Yeezy 350 Slate. Who am I to judge?
They say you gotta look close at these shoes, these Yeezy things. Check the stitching, they say. Like checkin’ a quilt for loose threads. Gotta be neat, gotta be tight. These Yeezy 350 Slate, they better be put together good. Ain’t nobody got time for shoes fallin’ apart! Not for the money they’re askin’!
And the bottom of the shoe, the sole they call it, that’s important too, they say. Gotta be just right. Like the bottom of a good pie crust, gotta be firm, not soggy. These Yeezy 350 Slate, they got a special sole. Supposed to be comfortable, I hear. Like walkin’ on clouds, some say. I doubt that, but who knows.

- Check that stitching, good and tight!
- Check that sole, firm like a good handshake!
- These Yeezy 350 Slate better be worth it!
Now, I heard tell of folks sellin’ fake ones. Fake Yeezys! Can you imagine? Like sellin’ a mule and callin’ it a racehorse! Shameful! They say these fake ones, they might say they’re made in Turkey. Turkey! What’s next, they gonna say they’re made on the moon? These Yeezy 350 Slate, they’re made in China, remember that!
So, if you’re gonna get yourself these Yeezy 350 Slate, you better watch out. Make sure you’re gettin’ the real deal. Don’t be fooled by some fancy talk and a low price. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is! Like findin’ a twenty dollar bill in your overalls pocket, it just don’t happen that often.
These young folks and their trends. It’s all a mystery to me. But I guess everyone’s got their own thing. Me, I’ll stick to my old boots. They’re comfortable, they’re reliable, and they don’t cost an arm and a leg. But these Yeezy 350 Slate, they sure are somethin’ to talk about, ain’t they?
They say these shoes, they’re a big deal. People linin’ up to buy ’em, like it’s the last loaf of bread in town! Crazy, I tell ya. But if you’re into that sort of thing, these Yeezy 350 Slate, they might be for you. Just make sure you’re gettin’ your money’s worth! Don’t want no buyer’s remorse, like when you buy a pig in a poke and it turns out to be a runt.
Yeezy 350 Slate, that’s the name. Don’t you forget it. Gray, like a rain cloud. Made in China. And expensive! That much I know. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I got chores to do. These chickens ain’t gonna feed themselves, you know!

- Real Yeezy 350 Slate made in China.
- Fake ones might say Turkey.
- Gotta watch out for them fakes!
I still don’t understand what the big deal is about these Yeezy things. Maybe I’m just too old. But hey, to each their own, right? Just remember what I told ya about them Yeezy 350 Slate. Don’t be a fool and get tricked! That’s all I gotta say about that. Now, go on, get outta here, you young whippersnappers! And stay off my lawn!